Becky Mutrux

I’m writing this while I gallery-sit for the MFA Thesis Exhibition – the open house of my senpais’ culminating work here at MCAD. It is absolutely insane to consider that this marks, in essence, the halfway point in this journey. I can consciously recall how I spent the ten months since I came to Minneapolis, it just doesn’t seem like it should add up to ten months. Kind of like how I know what I’ve been spending money on, it just doesn’t seem like it should be as much as it has been, LOL.

I’ve been pretty good about posting my progress on Instagram, and updating my website, so I won’t beat a dead horse on that account, pictures having a greater value than words and all of that (instead, I’m sharing pictures in this post of the thesis exhibition). But since I finally stumbled onto the blogging feature here in WordPress, I thought it might be worthwhile to spend a moment reflecting on this crazy adventure I’m halfway through.

When I talk about why I started an MFA, I often mention how I came to the realization that although I had spent twenty years in art education, I was an outsider in the Art World. I didn’t really know how it worked. The part about making art, that was easy to grasp. I just didn’t know anything about where you went from there. How you made connections, showed your work, actually sold anything – that was all a mystery. One year in, I feel a lot more knowledgeable about everything.

It’s been easier than I thought it would be. This is, no doubt, mostly because of all the English everyone speaks here. Even if I worked up the nerve to introduce myself at a gallery in Ulaanbaatar or Tokyo, I rarely actually did so because I was worried about not speaking the language. Along with that is the fact that it’s now my job to talk to people and get involved. Would I rather have my teeth pulled than send an email to someone asking for an informational interview and then actually interview them? I would! But I still have to bite the bullet and actually do it, because that’s what I’m here to do. When my social anxiety reared its head, I just reminded myself that through all the workshops and professional developments I’d done over the years, whenever I was with artists (including art teachers) I always got along just fine.

The other reason I started an MFA, to which I admit to less readily, is that I wanted to know if I can actually do this. Even though I understand better how this all works, the difficulty level is still incredibly hard. My mentor, my professors, even the MFA director – they’ve all emphasized that this is a number game. Last fall I was tickled when I sold four pieces in MCAD’s annual art sale – me, a nobody art teacher most recently from the steppe. THEN I got accepted to present an exhibition of my work at MCAD’s library this spring, so I was feeling pretty optimistic about this abrupt career change. But since then, it’s been one rejection after another. And it’s really challenging to put together a proposal for an exhibition that you feel great about, or to fill out an internship application that you think would be a perfect fit, or to finish a year of a program feeling like you’ve made all the “right” moves…only to not get the exhibition, internship, or award.

But THEN you have to keep going. Because from what I can tell, the main difference between a successful artist and an unsuccessful one is persistence. It’s like Chumbawumba once said, “I get knocked down, but I get up again, you’re never gonna keep me down.” The only one who gets to choose if I give up is me. It feels like there’s a lot riding on this, but that’s mostly because I don’t really think I want to teach anymore, and my money has to come from somewhere. So I get up again, and fill out another proposal, shake the internet for more opportunities, and try, try, try.

To that end, I have given myself some goals for the summer. A lot of them are focused on studio work, and if you follow my Instagram you’ll see those develop on that platform. I’m also hoping to arrange regular studio visits from a variety of artists. But most relevant to this platform are the goals I’ve set to attend shows and artist talks – I’d like to get back into my blogging practice, and this seems like a good way to do it; something regular but ever-changing, kind of like Grub Club was during the first few years of blogging in Mongolia. So stay tuned for that.